What on EARTH Am I Here For??

I wrote this a while back on FaceBook and now that I have started my blog and my networking has begun a lot of people ask me where the term MsUndertaker comes from, here is my answer: 

Here lately, I have found myself asking God "What on earth am I here for?". As many of you know, I work in the funeral business, what some of you don't know is that I'm reaching my 7th year of being in the business in January 2009. I have dedicated nearly each and every Saturday of the month to working funeral services, late nights at the funeral home. Making special trips to homes of families to adjust the final arrangements for their loved ones. For the last few weekends, the services that I have worked have touched me in one way or another. Don't get me wrong, nearly all of the services have touched me, but these last 4 services, I have been nearly brought to tears. I was asked one day "What makes you do THIS?" Now, people ask me this all the time, and I give them an answer that I always give them: "It's for you, the family". For some reason, I found myself giving this man a different answer. I told him it was in my blood, he asked me how long I had been doing this, assuming that I was between the ages of 25 and 30. After I told him that I have been doing this for almost 7 years and I was only 22, he then understood how I could say it was in my blood. He asked me how many services I have worked and he just so happened to ask that while we were driving through Paradise North Cemetery (yall know, the one on W. Montgomery) and I just looked at all the headstones, and realized that I don't know how many services I have worked. I don't look at these funeral services as "Just another service." I look at them as if "This could be MY loved one" it feels like it's something that I have to do. I have come to find over time that you never need anyone more in life than you do when someone dies. It is true. Especially when the people around you don't understand what you are going through. I've lost really close family members, fortunately my parents are still here. Which leads me to another service, of which I worked just this weekend. A mother, not too much older than my own, passed away, leaving behind 3 daughters and they had to be no younger than 18. I found myself calling my own mother and telling her how much I loved her because that could have very easily been me and my sister sitting in those chairs committing our mothers body to the earth.
I worked another service where we laid a mother alongside her two beautiful young daughters. Again, I thought to myself that could have been me. I sometimes come home and cry, there have been times that I sit in the arrangement room with the family and tears fall, or I may be standing at the casket and my eyes well up. But that lets me know that I do have feelings, there is something that I can say or do to make this family know that there is someone who cares.
It gets to the point to where I'm in the store, restaurant or even the CLUB and people come tap me on my shoulder and say "Do you remember me?" or "You work at the funeral home". That makes me realize as well that I am being watched and I have to live my life right. Because of course you never know who knows you, especially in this business.
Now, this brings me to my closing....What on EARTH Am I Here For? I am here for you, my friends, your families, people I don't know and their families. I am here to let help ease that burden of loss off your shoulders for at least a day or two. I am here even if you don't want to talk to me about it, you can because everyone grieves differently. I am here to take that long walk with you to leave your loved one at their final resting place wherever it may be. That is what HE has called ME here for, on earth. I always heard a funeral director say "Never put a question mark where God has already placed a period" and I now know what that means. HIS will has been done over your life. When he wants you in his secret garden, you will be there, that is a call that you cannot just ignore. SO of course my friends, be ready.