Hip Hop & Coffee: 25 Most Annoying Hip-Hop Trends of the 2000's

The promise of transformation is the guiding spirit of each new era. In hip-hop, it's the gestalt that gives form to the diverse directions of this culture. As we approach the dawn of a new decade, it's time to take stock of some of the eccentricities of the last decade. Here are 25 of the most preposterous hip-hop trends of the 2000s.

25. Shutter Shades

After Kanye popularized shutter shades in his "Stronger" video, every tween in America just had to get a pair. It suddenly became a trend, making appearances in various colors -- orange, red, etc. It's as lame as hip-hop fads come. You might as well grab a Ninja Turtles shirt while you're at it.

24. FREE (Insert Incarcerated Rapper) Tees

Pretending that you actually care about an incarcerated rapper who knowingly broke the law is so 2002. We don't believe you.

23. Music Overload

Aspiring rappers seem to think that the only way to get attention is to make more music. Ignoring them doesn't work. It only "motivates" them to churn more weak sauce. Sure, it worked for Crooked I when he did the weekly freestyle series, but ask yourself if you're as talented as Crooked I. Crook is a superb lyricist who has proved, with Slaughterhouse's debut, that he can hold his own alongside his peers. How about taking a break from the email blasts and spending quality time on your craft?

22. Throwback Jerseys

This one is right up there with oversized hats and sagging pants. Unless you're a 15-year old sports fan, jerseys are a no-no in hip-hop.

21. Lil Young Rappers

One notable difference between so-called ol' skool artists and the new generation is that the former typically picked stage monikers that denoted wisdom (Grandmaster Flash, Guru), while the latter seems to place a premium on youth (Lil Flip, Young Jeezy, Young Dro). I'd like to see these Lil Young rappers when they're 80. Equally annoying is the misspelled variation of "young." Yes, I'm looking at you, Yung Joc.

20. Award Show Crashers

When ODB crashed the Grammys to voice his disagreement when Diddy won ahead of Wu-Tang, he was humble about it. Who in their right mind would award Best Rap Album to Diddy ahead of the best group in hip-hop history? These days, stage crashing is an excuse to hijack the news cycle and drum up publicity for new projects. It's become more of a gimmick than anything.

19. R&B Rappers

People always point to Lauryn Hill as an example of an artist who juggled both the worlds of rap and r&b. The difference between L'Boogie and today's crop of rap-singers is that she could sing and rap very well. What we have today is a flurry of new jacks who lack both singing and rapping abilities. Sometimes you have to wonder how they manage to score record deals. Same goes for singers who dabble in rap.

18. Sleazy Music Videos

In the early 2000s, Hype Williams pioneered a new way of shooting music videos. Williams distorted the camera's central focus by employing the fisheye lens and occasionally magnified his actors' frame for unique effects. Hype also featured some beautiful models in many of his videos. Thirsty directors took his style and ran with it like purse snatchers. As the copycats gleefully embraced dime-a-dozen models, they forgot what made Hype's directorial technique so unique was his originality.

17. Hip-Hop Clothing Lines

I never understood why every rapper in the world deemed it necessary to launch a clothing line in order to showcase their penchant for nuthuggers. There are some decent hip-hop clothing lines out there, but many of the newer lines are simply knockoffs of staples like Rocawear and Phat Farm.

16. Groupie Confessions

The problem with groupie confessions is that they're often marketed as female empowerment literature when they're really a way for groupies to make extra cheddar and extend their 15 minutes of fame.

15. Cringe-worthy Crossover Products

We get it. CD sales are abysmal and the music industry is on its knees. So, rappers seek out other ways to bring in revenue. But that's no excuse to release a brand of condoms called Magic Stick. (Alternative: Stick to rapping)

14. The Obligatory Chick Song

Some of the best hip-hop and R&B collaborations ("You're All I Need," for example) emerged from a confluence of talent and creativity. In the 2000s, you didn't need either to make a "chick song." Just an order from thirsty execs who are only interested in turning a profit from such corniness.

13. Faking Jax

The hustler ethos is one of the lamest hip-hop trends ever invented. Like Ghostface once inquired in a Fader interview, if these rappers are killing as many people as they claim how come they're still walking free? I leave you with the wise words of OG Ice Cube: "Everybody’s hustling, ain’t nobody rapping."

12. Contrived Rap Feuds

Young Padawans turning on their mentors in drunken fits of rage is one of the most embarrassing hip-hop trends to have emerged in the last 10 years. The Game is notorious for this fan-turned-enemy tomfoolery, having gone to war with 50 Cent, Dr. Dre and Jay-Z. I doubt he'd take that route if his career didn't depend on it.

11. Yelling on Mixtapes

DJs manage to render mixtapes unlistenable by yelling all over the songs. Equally annoying is rewinding the same song 11 times on a mixtape while yelling "BRING THAT SH*T BACK!". If I wanted to hear 10 seconds of the same song over and over, I'll hit that damn rewind button myself.

10. Diamond Grills

These disgustingly expensive chains that cost more than most people's homes are just plain horrible, even from a fashion perspective. Good thing they're fast becoming extinct, you know, with the recession and all.

9. Oversized Shirts

Fellas, can we all agree to ban shirts that look like dresses because they go all the way down to your knees? Why wear oversized clothes when you can look classy in well-tailored ones?

8. Sagging Pants

Hip-hop fashion can be edgy without necessarily being stupid. Wearing a pair of jeans that's eight times your normal size should be penalized with a public beatdown.

7. Club Shootouts

Club shootings have led to many deaths in hip-hop (Proof, T.I.'s personal assistant, etc) and it's time hip-hop took a strong stand against this. It's as immature as it gets. Let Shyne's incarceration serve as a reminder that the club is no place to get all Rambo on innocent by-standers.

6. Insanely Expensive Diamond Chains

Wearing diamond-drenched, novelty size chains should be a no-no in hip-hop. T-Pain paid $410,000 for his "big ass chain." That's 5 houses and a car!

5. The Requisite Lil Wayne Feature

The only logical explanation for this trend is that label honchos have issued a mandate stating that no hip-hop album will be released without at least one Lil Wayne collaboration. Wayne has had his share of brilliant moments. In fact, when he's sharply focused he can be deadly ("Dr. Carter," for instance). However, there are hundreds of other remarkable artists that are equally capable of boosting your stocks. Seek them out and your audience will reward you for the unique experience. The Roots have been doing this consistently for over a decade.

4. Directional Dance Songs

Please stop telling me to throw my hands in the air and do the "stanky legg" on the dancefloor. If I find the song compelling enough I'll shake it like a Polaroid picture. Directional dance songs are corny and need to be permanently retired from hip-hop.

3. Making it Rain

Making it rain is a way of expressing affection for exotic dancers at the club. You really don't need me to go into a 2000-word epistle on what makes this trend ridiculously lame. Anyone still making it rain in 2009 needs to take Jay-Z's advice and get off that.

2. Swag

"Swag" is often an excuse for lack of actual talent. Ask hip-hop fans why they like certain artists and you just might be appalled at how often "swag" comes up in conversation. People are willing more than ever to sacrifice talent for swag. The word "swag" needs to be crushed, ran over, and buried in the same grave with shutter shades.

1. Auto-Tune

Auto-tune went from being a vocal enhancement to a hip-hop fad. Jay officially drilled a nail in its coffin via his anthemic single "Death of Auto-Tune." Let's hope it stays that way come 2010.

via: Henry's Blog

Hip Hop & Coffee

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

25 Most Annoying Hip-Hop Trends of the 2000's